Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
