Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
