Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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