you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
