I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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