I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize