And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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