It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
