One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
