I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
