Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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