I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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