I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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