I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
