she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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