I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just had sex on a roof
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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