i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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