Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
