Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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