I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm too high and old for this...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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