We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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