Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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