in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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