Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
