Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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