You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
