I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
