We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
