so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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