I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
is it fun? or sober?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
