On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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