Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
