he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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