Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
