You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
