Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
