I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize