WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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