I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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