It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
