People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
