He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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