You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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