so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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