he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
