tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
