i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
