I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
