Someone shit on the floor
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
