If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
