U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize