i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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