I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
