im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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