So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
