The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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