i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
