Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
