I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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