Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
