Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
