Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
