ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
