So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize