sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
